Unexpected blessing!

Ok, so I was sitting here at home thinking about finances and feeling a bit overwhelmed. I work long hours and hard to pay my bills and to be able to give to others in need and lately haven't had a lot due to paying out the wazoo for vacation and still waiting for others to pay me back for their portion of vacation, extra bills,forgetting about a couple of bills, etc. Also, when my wallet was stolen a few months back I closed my old account, but it took a couple months to get my new direct deposit straight and I had to keep transferring funds and the deposits kept re-opening my old account even though it wasn't supposed to which led to debits coming out that weren't supposed to, etc. Anyway, this led to my old account being overdrawn and ridiculous things of that nature. It's just been very stressful and difficult to straighten out. So....I just checked on my old account and it's overdrawn(of course) and I'm sitting here knowing that there isn't anything that I can do because I don't have extra money right now and am nervous because I'm afraid that I'll have to pay 2 peoples rent this month as well, so I want to make sure that I have money period at the end of the month. I sat down at the table and started going through the mail from the last week or so and was crying, but at peace because I knew that God would take care of me and I opened a check from the US treasury that I was convinced was for $19 because I had to pay $370 to the gov't and was getting $19 back from state and it was for $400!!!!! Apparently the person that did my taxes didn't realize that I was eligible for something else and I had a check! WOO-HOO!!!!!! How amazing is my God! He provides for me when I need it and in His timing and when I don't expect it. Thankyou Lord!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Prayer needed!

So, for the last few weeks I've felt like the Lord wants me to start some sort of online page or group for believers all over the world to share their testimonies of how He changed their lives. They'd be video and typed and would be used to edify the body of Christ across all Christian denominations to unify us and to also be a light to the darkness where unbelievers can read and watch and see people tell of Christ's changing power from their own lives. I know that for me personally I break down weeping when I hear of others personal testimonies and how God has changed them and there is nothing to me that touches me so. I have no idea how to do this, but know that the Lord has equipped me and others around me to do so, I'm just unsure exactly how to begin. I also want to incorporate mine and others blogging into it and use the site as a spurring on towards discipleship and reaching the nations for Christ. Pray for me, pray that the Holy Spirit will speak and that I will listen, that I will be still before my God, that I will pursue Him unabashedly and that everyday I will fall more in love with Him. Pray that my sole focus will be to glorify Him and secondly to love people!

Thought of the day

I will cut you!

A little nervous....

Ok, so since my dad chose to go back to Linda a year and a half ago I have not been to his home or anywhere that she would be present except for when he brought her to the airport to see Josh and when he brought her to my Papa's funeral. Tonight we're celebrating Father's Day and I'm considering going to dinner with him and her. It's a bit terrifying and unnerving because she has inflicted so much pain on my family, but I was just sitting around this week and felt a peace about it and that I should go. Please pray that she will be kind to us, his kids. Generally if he gives us any attention she becomes very cruel to us and I won't tolerate it anymore.

Long week, but good.

I left work early yesterday afternoon due to it being a super-long week and choosing to take a little time to myself and ended up going to be by 11:15pm! It was Friday night and I was in bed, lol. I did watch a movie with my mom (The Book of Eli which is awesome). I've realized lately just how much I don't see my mom and the kids anymore. I see them at church and I see mom every other weekend usually when the kids are at dad's.
Great news this week......my youngest sister, Sarah Grace, became a believer! I have prayed for this for years. A few days before she became a Christian I was looking through some old pics that my Aunt Steph has of Sarah Grace on her fb page and just felt overwhelmed for my sister. I ached for when she was younger, before she turned angry most of the time. I remember when she was happy and carefree. I sat there and cried and prayed for her. God is so good! Sometimes my sinful nature despairs and thinks that some people will never come to Christ, but there is always hope! I should be obedient and tell people of Christ and live my life for Him alone, but the Holy Spirit draws people to the Lord and God's timing is never off. Never. I am so excited to watch her grow.
I'm also excited about women's mentoring that we're starting at Hunsinger soon. I need an older woman to come along-side me and I need to pour myself into a younger woman. I need to pour myself into something and someone. I've always poured myself into my job, but it consumes me and that is not glorifying to God. Christ should consume me-my thoughts, my desires, my hopes, my time. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do with the Refugee Ministry. I'll be meeting with Brian this Thursday. I just feel lost when it comes to what to do right now, which ministry to focus on. I think that means that I just need to focus on Christ and He'll lead me to what I should do. I am not spending time in the Word everyday and therein lies the problem.

"Impossible" by Shontelle

I remember years ago
Someone told me I should take
Caution when it comes to love
I did, I did

And you were strong and I was not
My illusion, my mistake
I was careless, I forgot
I did

And now when all is done
There is nothing to say
You have gone and so effortlessly
You have won
You can go ahead tell them

Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof tops
Write it on the sky line
All we had is gone now

Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible

Falling out of love is hard
Falling for betrayal is worst
Broken trust and broken hearts
I know, I know

Thinking all you need is there
Building faith on love AND WORDS
Empty promises will wear
I know, I know

And know when all is gone
There is nothing to say
And if you're done with embarrassing me
On your own you can go ahead tell them

Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof tops
Write it on the sky line
All we had is gone now

Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible!
Ooh impossible (yeah yeah)

I remember years ago
Someone told me I should take
Caution when it comes to love
I did

Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof tops
Write it on the sky line
All we had is gone now

Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible

I remember years ago
Someone told me I should take
Caution when it comes to love
I did..

so...it's been awhile.....

I'm trying to get in the habit of blogging consistently. I don't necessarily think that anyone really wants to read my blogs, but I think I need to take time to process my day and thoughts and be able to go back and read it later, especially when I'm really encouraged by my Creator or struggling with something. Today's won't be very long, but I forgot that my Papa died today. I was talking to my dad on the phone and he was telling me a story from his childhood that he's told me many times and we were laughing and I honestly forgot that my Papa was no longer alive. I remembered rather quickly, but I've come to the conclusion that I'd rather be well aware of the reality of his death daily than to forget and have my mind be startled by the thought and my heart seemingly learn the news all over again.