Prayer needed!

So, for the last few weeks I've felt like the Lord wants me to start some sort of online page or group for believers all over the world to share their testimonies of how He changed their lives. They'd be video and typed and would be used to edify the body of Christ across all Christian denominations to unify us and to also be a light to the darkness where unbelievers can read and watch and see people tell of Christ's changing power from their own lives. I know that for me personally I break down weeping when I hear of others personal testimonies and how God has changed them and there is nothing to me that touches me so. I have no idea how to do this, but know that the Lord has equipped me and others around me to do so, I'm just unsure exactly how to begin. I also want to incorporate mine and others blogging into it and use the site as a spurring on towards discipleship and reaching the nations for Christ. Pray for me, pray that the Holy Spirit will speak and that I will listen, that I will be still before my God, that I will pursue Him unabashedly and that everyday I will fall more in love with Him. Pray that my sole focus will be to glorify Him and secondly to love people!

Thought of the day

I will cut you!

A little nervous....

Ok, so since my dad chose to go back to Linda a year and a half ago I have not been to his home or anywhere that she would be present except for when he brought her to the airport to see Josh and when he brought her to my Papa's funeral. Tonight we're celebrating Father's Day and I'm considering going to dinner with him and her. It's a bit terrifying and unnerving because she has inflicted so much pain on my family, but I was just sitting around this week and felt a peace about it and that I should go. Please pray that she will be kind to us, his kids. Generally if he gives us any attention she becomes very cruel to us and I won't tolerate it anymore.

Long week, but good.

I left work early yesterday afternoon due to it being a super-long week and choosing to take a little time to myself and ended up going to be by 11:15pm! It was Friday night and I was in bed, lol. I did watch a movie with my mom (The Book of Eli which is awesome). I've realized lately just how much I don't see my mom and the kids anymore. I see them at church and I see mom every other weekend usually when the kids are at dad's.
Great news this week......my youngest sister, Sarah Grace, became a believer! I have prayed for this for years. A few days before she became a Christian I was looking through some old pics that my Aunt Steph has of Sarah Grace on her fb page and just felt overwhelmed for my sister. I ached for when she was younger, before she turned angry most of the time. I remember when she was happy and carefree. I sat there and cried and prayed for her. God is so good! Sometimes my sinful nature despairs and thinks that some people will never come to Christ, but there is always hope! I should be obedient and tell people of Christ and live my life for Him alone, but the Holy Spirit draws people to the Lord and God's timing is never off. Never. I am so excited to watch her grow.
I'm also excited about women's mentoring that we're starting at Hunsinger soon. I need an older woman to come along-side me and I need to pour myself into a younger woman. I need to pour myself into something and someone. I've always poured myself into my job, but it consumes me and that is not glorifying to God. Christ should consume me-my thoughts, my desires, my hopes, my time. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do with the Refugee Ministry. I'll be meeting with Brian this Thursday. I just feel lost when it comes to what to do right now, which ministry to focus on. I think that means that I just need to focus on Christ and He'll lead me to what I should do. I am not spending time in the Word everyday and therein lies the problem.

"Impossible" by Shontelle

I remember years ago
Someone told me I should take
Caution when it comes to love
I did, I did

And you were strong and I was not
My illusion, my mistake
I was careless, I forgot
I did

And now when all is done
There is nothing to say
You have gone and so effortlessly
You have won
You can go ahead tell them

Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof tops
Write it on the sky line
All we had is gone now

Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible

Falling out of love is hard
Falling for betrayal is worst
Broken trust and broken hearts
I know, I know

Thinking all you need is there
Building faith on love AND WORDS
Empty promises will wear
I know, I know

And know when all is gone
There is nothing to say
And if you're done with embarrassing me
On your own you can go ahead tell them

Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof tops
Write it on the sky line
All we had is gone now

Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible!
Ooh impossible (yeah yeah)

I remember years ago
Someone told me I should take
Caution when it comes to love
I did

Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof tops
Write it on the sky line
All we had is gone now

Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible

I remember years ago
Someone told me I should take
Caution when it comes to love
I did..

so...it's been awhile.....

I'm trying to get in the habit of blogging consistently. I don't necessarily think that anyone really wants to read my blogs, but I think I need to take time to process my day and thoughts and be able to go back and read it later, especially when I'm really encouraged by my Creator or struggling with something. Today's won't be very long, but I forgot that my Papa died today. I was talking to my dad on the phone and he was telling me a story from his childhood that he's told me many times and we were laughing and I honestly forgot that my Papa was no longer alive. I remembered rather quickly, but I've come to the conclusion that I'd rather be well aware of the reality of his death daily than to forget and have my mind be startled by the thought and my heart seemingly learn the news all over again.

“Stay away”

"You are too near to me, this closeness I’ve come to hate, go back across the sea I beg where waters did separate.
"I can feel you in this place, I sense you in my city. You’re far too near, your presence unwanted here, will you again prey on others foolish pity?
"For a short time I was without you in my thoughts, I was given silent peace, now you return like salt in a burn, your damage will never cease.
"You are a walking, breathing lie and so many you’ve deceived, it has been a very long time since your madness I believed.
"You stole what wasn’t yours, you took it with full intention. And afterward into my ears you spoke poison and with bragging you made mention:
That you twisted and preyed on kindness, oh how you killed all truth that got in your way, you broke him to shatter me, and for what, just to prove that you would have your way?
"I long for the day when you are seen for the manipulating force that you are, by the people who’ve defended you while you played the victim and who are convinced that you’re their little shining star.
"You breathe filth and lies and scar my memories, your very being blackens my painful stains; the seething wounds that your acts created, I cry for mercy to not see you with such disdain."
Jennifer Vincent